Take a Look At Me Now
by AngelicCharisma
Summary: This is an epic short story of Buffy's love for Angel, from her point of view. It contains lyrics from a song, entitled 'Take a Look At Me Now.'


'Take A Look at Me Now'  
  
DISCLAIMER: This character Buffy is not my idea, she is created by Joss Whedon, and portrayed by Sarah Michelle Gellar. The song lyrics are from a song by Mariah Carey.  
  
This is the story of Buffy and Angel, through Buffy's POV. It speaks about her feelings for Angel, from the beginning until the bitter end. The verses are from a famous song, entitled 'Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now.) performed by Mariah Carey. This song inspired me, as it reminded me of Buffy and Angel's love.  
  
TIP: To capture the image and to enhance the beauty of this fiction, listen to the actual song lyrics and 'Take A Look At Me Now' by Mariah Carey. It will tug at your heart, so there is a fare warning.  
  
Buffy:  
  
'Take a look at me now  
  
There's just an empty space  
  
There's nothing left here to remind me  
  
Just the memory of your face  
  
So take a look at me now.'  
  
My life took an complete unexpected 180 when I found out that I was the Chosen One. The Slayer, if you will. Life as I knew it, was changed. Over, from the perspective of a 16 year-old girl like myself. Now I had responsibility. And I had to fight it all alone. Fight battles of evil to save the world from all that was bad, and restore all good to humanity. I felt so alone in the dark, especially at night. I had to do this on my own. I felt as if I would never have a normal life again, and that nobody even noticed, or cared. No other soul could possibly understand what it was like to be me. There was no one out there to rescue me out of my unmistakable misery.  
  
Until one night, I saw him. His name was Angel. He was dark, mysterious, and unbelievably gorgeous. I knew then and there I loved him. But I fought it. And do you know what's weird? He knew me. He knew me inside, and out. His deep-dark penetrating eyes seemed to see the very depths of my soul. He would just give me that special look and I would melt into a puddle of Buffy. How could he do that? And I gave in eventually, as any high-school girl with a crush would. I fell hard. Hard to my knees. My life would never be the same, with or without him.  
  
'How can I just let you walk away  
  
Just let you leave without a trace  
  
When I'd stand and take in every breath with you  
  
You're the only one who really knew me at all.'  
  
So take a look at me now'  
  
Angel and I could not hold ourselves back. I loved him, for who he was inside, not for the fiendish creature he was cursed as being. And he loved me enough to stand by my side, through thick and thin. I needed him. We needed each other to survive. I knew I couldn't live without Angel. I didn't ever think he would leave me.  
  
'I wish I could just make you turn around  
  
Turn around and see me cry  
  
There's so much I need to say to you  
  
So many reasons why  
  
You're the only one who really knew me at all  
  
So take a look at me now.'  
  
We tried so hard to make it work. I wanted him to be with me. He was my strong shelter and my mentor. He was my inner strength to go on living; to have a purpose. I loved him more than life itself. But, I gave myself all of me for him. But, he had a curse bestowed on him, which caused him to be torn of his very soul if we had one moment of pleasure. And we did. We became one.  
  
After that night of ecstasy, something changed inside him. Believe me, I didn't see this one coming. I never knew I could experience such pain. Angel was gone, and all who was left was a fierce demon. I had lost him in sea of thwarted waters in which carried his sweet soul away from me. So I had one only option. I had to kill him, as much as it hurt me to do so.  
  
'So take a look at me now  
  
There's just an empty space  
  
And you coming back to me is against the odds  
  
And that's what I've got to face.  
  
So take a look at me now.'  
  
I thought he was gone forever, but fate changed. Angel came back, as he once was. I was afraid at first, unsure of what I should do. I was confused and bewildered. But he still cared for me, and I him. I still wanted Angel, but I couldn't fool myself. I tried to go on with my life, with Angel still there. Do you think that honestly would suffice? No, it didn't. We fell back for each other, trying desperately to be together. I seriously thought our love would withstand all of the winds and storms of this life.  
  
But I was wrong. He said that I needed someone better. Who could possibly be better than Angel? Someone who could be able to take me into the light. Someone who could give me more than just demons and darkness. Someone who could make love to me. I didn't care, I wanted Angel. He was all that mattered to me. He was the one freaky thing in my freaky world that made sense to me. He was my knight in shining armor. But, he made it perfectly clear that we mustn't let this endeavored relationship persist; that we would only ruin each other's lives. That it was better this way. I couldn't believe it. I begged him not to, but he left me. Vanished into the thin night air. Leaving me with my broken heart, shattered to tiny pieces, and me to pick them all up. Pick up what was left of my smashed, yet still beating heart.  
  
'How can you just walk away from me  
  
When I all I can do is watch you leave  
  
Cause we shared the laughter and the pain  
  
And even shared the tears  
  
You're the only one who really knew me at all.'  
  
A year went by. Time slowly past by me. I tried to forget, but it wasn't possible. My life, and his, went in totally separate directions. So I tried to make the best of it, without my beloved Angel. He had left me no choice. Only a broken spirit. I had gotten hurt, which is what he tried to prevent. But it happened. Shortly thereafter, I saw him from time to time. I attempted to be strong, and not let him get the best of me. I turned around and walked the other way. I didn't want to get hurt again. I wanted to protect myself and guard my heart. I knew it would never work, because we just would want more and more. Angel was really gone. For good. But I still, to this day, turn around and look over my shoulder, as if expecting him to be still there. I still love him. I will always love him.  
  
'But to wait for you  
  
Is all I can do  
  
And that's what I've got to face  
  
So take a look at me now  
  
'Cuz I'll still be standing here  
  
And you coming back to me is against all odds  
  
And that's the chance I got to take.  
  
So take a look at me, now' 


End file.
